A Millennial’s Vicious Rebuttal To That Same Millennial’s Recent Article
Hello! And welcome to Yelling At Yourself with your host me, Talia Jane!
On today’s episode, we are yelling at my recent article in the New York Post with the very neutral title, “Complaining about low pay online destroyed my life.” We’ll be yelling at myself in lieu of someone else doing it because for some reason I think it’s funny. Let’s dive in!
Dear Talia,
You say your article “destroyed” your life. Hm. It’s interesting how you’re still alive. Privileged much?
You highlight how, despite applying for dozens of jobs in a variety of fields, the only employer who wanted anything to do with you was one you had worked for in college because they didn’t think to google you before offering you a dishwashing job. The takeaway I’m getting from this is you suck.
But let’s look at this little excerpt about one particular situation where you just said straight up during an interview that you called out your company’s low wages and that’s why you were fired. And yet you were surprised the hiring manager never got back to you, I’m assuming because you didn’t actually say that you were surprised by it?? Hello! Never tell a potential employer you give a shit about your coworkers’ wellbeing! What is your problem?! Oh, I know: it’s that you suck and you’re bad.
You say:
The hiring manager seemed to love me. He was relaxed and smiled, and at first I was certain he would be calling me back. But then he noted my Yelp experience and asked: “You were terminated from Yelp?”
“Yes,” I replied. Then: “I wrote an open letter to the CEO calling out the need for higher wages and they fired me.” I gave him a quick smile, waiting.
His eyes flashed from cheerful to cold. He began shifting in his seat, fidgeting with papers in front of him, not looking me in the eye. I was sitting across a small table from him but might as well have been talking to him from the moon. I knew I wouldn’t get a call back.
Did you ever stop to consider maybe…that quick smile you gave scared him? On account of how ugly you are? Of course you didn’t. Because you suck. I would feel sorry for you if I had any capacity to feel anything beyond indignant outrage whenever someone who isn’t me is getting attention.
Speaking of which, do you have any idea how many jobs I’ve applied to? I’ll tell you: it’s hardly any, because I’m a much harder worker than you are and people just HAND me jobs because they can just tell I’m very good. In fact, I had to turn down three hand jobs since I started writing this rebuttal.
I have 40,000 emails in my inbox because I signed up for every newsletter in 2005 but never open any of them just so when I take a screenshot of my home screen, I look important. How many emails do you have, sucker? Probably none.
In this part where you mention that other people used your letter to advertise themselves — please subscribe to my YouTube channel where I review shopping bags I find in the street — did you ever stop to consider that maybe it’s because you were extremely viral and of course people were going to latch on and ride that wave?:
One year after I wrote my post, Stefanie Williams announced on Medium that she had finally sold a TV show after writing an “article [she] wrote about millennials and work ethic.”
“That article, I believed, was my golden ticket,” she wrote.
That article, in fact, was the one she had written about me.
Not long after, Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) dinged me in his new book “The Vanishing American Adult.” Deep within his 273-page cautionary tale about “kids these days,” Sasse took a direct shot at me: “Our [Founding] Fathers … would panic about the survivability of a nation if we have too many Ms. Janes.”
Wow, you’re mad people want to take advantage of you so they can look good? How the hell are you from Los Angeles and don’t know this! It’s called being in the industry, girl!
Also, what’s with all this “using quotes in context” and “citing your sources” shit you seem so fond of? Fake news, much?
By the way, I’m super woke. Last week I learned what “WOC” stands for. But enough about me!
I was born in 1923 to a poor farmhand and the bale of hay he used to make love to in secret after everyone went to bed. That bale of hay…was Albert Einstein.
So what if guys you went on dates with didn’t tell you that they swiped right because they knew you were “Yelp girl”!:
Around the same time, I decided to try dating. Armed only with Tinder, I agreed to a date with an amiable teacher who had also just migrated from the Bay Area. At the end of our date, he revealed that his roommate is “a big fan” of “the letter” and that, when we matched on Tinder, he had told him, “You’ll never guess who I just matched with! Yelp girl!”
Now if I want to go on a date with someone, I send them my Wikipedia page first. That way I know they know and they can decide whether or not to move forward before I bother shaving my legs.
Oh, that part didn’t make the cut? Well, it was funny. You’re not funny and actually you suck, but that part was funny. Sometimes I eat my hair just to see what will happen.
I often worked 16-hour days, sometimes squeezing in two hours of sleep between shifts. So many people had called me lazy that, despite knowing it’s not true, I felt obligated to prove them wrong.
Oh really? What about the people who work 17 hour days? Huh?? Poor hustle. You lazy ass. God, I can’t believe you’re 27. I’m 400 years old and all-powerful.
Let’s talk about this, though:
What is this? You look like one of the women in Mitt Romney’s binders.
You look like a woman who wants to speak to the manager.
You look like the manager.
You look like you think homelessness is a choice.
You look like you blame your farts on the dog. And you don’t have a dog.
You look like you do have 15 cats and all of them are named Mickey Mouse.
You look like the wife of a mass shooter.
You look like you suck.
I’m not mad you got to write about your experiences. I’m just disappointed that you bothered to say anything at all.
I am cross-platform sharing this post from my Patreon, which you can criticize right here.
